Yo dont text me then not text me
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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