i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
