Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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