Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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