He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
