So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
