batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
being pregnant is like rehab
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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