I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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