Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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