Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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