I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
