hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
