Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
