Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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