She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize