She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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