Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
