yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Are we still banned from the library?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
