I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
i now understand why vodka
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
