Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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