i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
