I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
