That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
