ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
