I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
