I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
