is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
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