first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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