I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
