I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
