its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
