Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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