I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
