Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
