I smell stomach acid.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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