im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize