Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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