let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize
