Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
