party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize