like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
