naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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