"it" just moved
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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