He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
