I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
