Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize