Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
