It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
