Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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