i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize