I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
