Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
