yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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