we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
