i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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