Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
