U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm having to shit out rocks
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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