remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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