I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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