The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
