i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
