Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Pants are for mortals
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
