For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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