i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I need a beard to bite.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm having to shit out rocks
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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