New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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