I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
