This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
