I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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