yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
